sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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