Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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