Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think a kid would responsible me up
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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