you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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