...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
