I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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