I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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