Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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