he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
