ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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