But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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