Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
