so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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