i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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