She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize