Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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