If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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