How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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