I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
