At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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