the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
