It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
