can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
