How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
