The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize