I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
