have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
