there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
