I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
