i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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