My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ttyl tear gas
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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