so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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