Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
