A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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