even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
nutella sex= disaster
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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