Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
