so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
