No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
