she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
