upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
