We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
