i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
