he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
