were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
