Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize