I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
