I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
