You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
