4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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