When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Green mimosas i think yes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize