PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
