It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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