so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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