I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
