let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I could fuck to npr.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
