I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
