I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
