As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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