oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
