it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize