what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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