i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
