4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
