We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
