My hand turned me down
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
